I’ve been smoking for over two decades now. A pack a day, on and off. Like most smokers I’ve given up a few times. I’ve managed to go for a year or two here or there, but I’ve always come back to it. I’ve probably been smoking for around 15 years overall. I’ve decided to quit again, and this time will be the last.
The Body
Before I moved to China I visited the Body Worlds exhibition in Manchester. One of the displays was of a man who had been sliced from head to toe like a loaf of bread. The slices were displayed hanging with space between them so you could see inside the body.
The man had died of cancer, likely due to smoking too much. You could see the malignant tumours that riddled his body and how they weaved all the way through his brain, internal organs, and right down to his feet. The feet, and hands, were yellowed with jaundice from the cigarettes he never stopped smoking.
It had a profound effect on me. I didn’t want to end up riddled with cancerous tumours that slowly destroyed my organs from the inside. I was already smoking a pack a day. How much damage had that done already? Was it already too late? I vowed to quit smoking for the rest of my life.
Now, over 15 years later, I am still smoking a pack a day. Every day I think about that body. And yet, I keep smoking. I couldn’t understand why. I’ve tried to quit smoking a few times. Every time I would think of that cancer snaking through the body. But I keep coming back to it. Why can’t I just quit?
Fuck it. I’m quitting. For good this time. I hope…
QuitSure
In order to help me finally quit, I downloaded an app called QuitSure. For whatever reason, I was granted free access to the full course, possibly because I am based in Laos at the moment. The website says the cost is usually 40-50 USD per month, depending on the country.
That may seem like a lot, but if their claim is true it will save you a lot more money in the long run. One of the things this app made me realise is that I’ve likely spent somewhere in the region of 15 to 20 thousand dollars on cigarettes since I first started. And this is when I’ve spent most of my smoking life living in China where you can get a pack of cigarettes for less than 2 dollars.
The app claims to have a 6 day course that will enable you to quit smoking forever. One of the things you notice with the app is the amount of certainty they have. You WILL quit if you do the course properly. This might be a manipulation, but in a good way. The certainty helps to train your brain that you can quit, that you will quit.
The course itself consists of three main parts: education, mindful smoking, and training your subconscious. You will learn why and how you are addicted, and be given exercises and tools to help train both your conscious and subconscious mind that smoking is bad. The theory is that by retraining your brain you can quit forever.
The major caveat it gives is in why nicotine is the most addictive drug on the planet. Unlike other drugs, your tolerance to nicotine never goes down. It remains dormant in your brain, so if you smoke one cigarette a month, a year, even a decade later, then you will become addicted again. The app goes into a little detail about the brain chemistry behind it, but I’ll let you discover that in the app if you’re also aiming to quit.
The good news is that a lot of the other damage done by smoking can be repaired. Even if you are addicted, it is still worth giving up. Nicotine addiction is a trap that can keep spiralling without you even realising you are an addict.
QuitSure aims to give you the tools to help quit. I have done the full 6 day course now, and I do feel a lot better about myself. I have a better understanding of my own brain and how the nicotine is controlling me. And I now have tools using both mindfulness and subconscious training to help convince myself never to smoke again.
I can’t say whether or not QuitSure works as well as it claims to, since I’ve only just finished the 6 day course. But I can say that the journey is definitely worth it. The knowledge it imparts and the mindfulness approach at the very least makes you more aware of what every cigarette is doing to you. And that cannot be a bad thing.
So here I am. At the end of my smoking journey. Or rather, at the beginning of my non-smoking journey. I vow to never smoke another cigarette again. I have thrown away my last pack of cigarettes and my pipe. It’s over.
Wish me luck.
